X-Files

Friday morning...really early. Tour leader said we'd probably wake up around 3am.  She said we'd have to just kinda wait around until it opened at 6:30am. I laughed. She doesn't know me. I set my alarm for 7:30. HA...woke up at 3:15am (but I went back to sleep), woke back up totally refreshed at 5:45...decided I'd get up. Got to breakfast and woohoo!! There were forks!!! And seriously...everything is JUST SO CUTE HERE...more on that later. But check out the choc milk box...adorable. And the "no kids" sign...the girl has BOWS!!! If I said "totes adorbs", this would be the place to say it. Had breakfast, and talked to Joe and wife...Joe was meeting his birthmom today, and one of his brothers, but not the one who is his IDENTICAL TWIN until tomorrow. WHAT?? Does everyone have an identical twin and magically find them? So happy for him!!! Then someone else came over to ask about some noodles and Dukkyung had to get up and show her, and she said "sorry for interrupting" and Dukkyung said "don't worry, it's her 2nd breakfast!"...yeah something things don't change...except my waistline...and the fact that I'm still guzzling pepto. I didn't even have dinner tonight with everyone because I'm just so full feeling...apparently from breakfast. Moving on.

After breakfast(s), we had our first meeting with Dukkyung to review what would happen at Eastern.Then we headed back to the room to get ready, get the gifts ready, and since I was actually awake enough to unpack something other than my toothbrush, I looked around the room. Check out the egg shelf in the fridge and the Washer AND dryer combo. Pretty cooL!!

 We headed to Eastern and since it was dark last night when we went to hotel, this was the first I really saw in the town. The hotel is in "downtown" seoul, and it's really just like any other big city.

 

 We got to Eastern and it's the actual location where most of the adoptees were before they were adopted and came to when they were brought in by their foster mothers for check ups. They showed a video about what they're all about, and I'm not sure there was a dry eye in the house. How emotional!
I feel like the moms of the adoptees were more affected by the video bc they could remember getting their babies, just like they were showing in the videos. Then we toured the facility. They have a cafe run by single moms to help them get on their feet, tons of boxes going out to foster families, the file room where the files are 4 inches thick these days and 4 cm thick back in my day. We even saw a little boy having his pic taken for his file.

 And then...the BABIES!!! Oh my goodness. They were the CUTEST babies ever!! I'm kinda sad because I never received the paperwork that needed to be filled out (at doctors) in order to hold the babies on Sunday :( Very emotional seeing these little babies, side by side...waiting to be placed into foster homes. We saw babies getting shots, lots of foster moms...such an amazing gift they give!!!

 Then we had a few minutes so we took a little walk and exchanged money. I also stopped in a little store and continuing...super CUTE stuff!!!

 Next up was lunch and check out who is an expert with chopsticks now!!! Okay, so maybe I just stabbed a few items as I got tired.

Next came to trip to the Holt agency. This is the agency I was adopted thru. I met with Mrs. Kim to go thru my file. I actually sent my Petition for File Discloser May 11, but somehow they didn't get it; I wasn't told this until very recently, so I sent again as soon I found out. The agency only received my paperwork 3 days ago and in this time, they got it approved to search, did a search...and...



A bit of back story. I have no information...was told I was left at an orphanage, maybe on day of birth? Know nothing about birth parents and I didn't think I ever would.

Now I know...I was not abandoned, I was not left on a doorstep at an orphanage, I never lived in an orphanage. WOW?!?!! AND....I found out information about birth mom. She was 21when she had me, she was unmarried, she was full Korean, she relinquished me to the agency, and she left her ACTUAL number (like a social security number) so she will be to be contacted. Mrs. Kim said this is quite significant. She said that many times, people would give fake numbers or leave out a number and would be unsearchable. She said this truly shows her character.  Just this morning, the information from the search came back that she is registered as "someone's wife"...(ooooooooh, I'm assuming the "someone" means they aren't releasing whose wife, not that it actually says "someone's wife"...haha, that just occurred to me now...DUH. I think I was just in shock that she was registered.)
She said many times, they do the search and the results just come back "unsearchable".

How's THAT for something to chew on! My whole "left on a doorstep" story...won't be telling it anymore. So then, information says I was only at the center for a few hours before Mrs. Lee (foster mother) came and picked me up...that SAME DAY!! Still, I was at the facility that I visited today for a few hours July 7, 1977. CRAZY!!!!!!!! I saw a pic of me that I've never seen before. My mom said it was the first pic she saw of me and she always said the first thing she noticed was my long fingers. I never understood what she meant by that bc the first pic I saw of me was the close up with the case number, which I'm so excited that she gave me one (there were extra in my file) bc mine is so faded. Also saw a pic of my foster mother which I had never seen one before.

Lol...looks like I already had weird 4th fingers back then...my bow hold and vibrato hardly stood a chance.

 Foster mother and admission/place date. And the case number...I was born in 77 and was the 2000th baby in the system.

HAHAHAHA...check out the texture of my hair? Straight...that didn't last long.

And the new info about my birthmom. Unmarried mother...21. And there I went to USA on Jan 30...the meet my mom on Jan 31!

So now what? Mrs. Kim told me to take my time and decide how I want to proceed. She said I can write a letter to my birthmom and email it to her, and then they'll send a telegram to my birthmom. Many times, these telegrams are rejected, denied, never answered. But sometimes, the birthmoms contact the agency, asking "what does she want from me" and that's the purpose my letter will serve. I also left my photoalbum in my file.

Nothing may come of all this and perhaps something will...and maybe something will way down the line (after perhaps, people in her life pass away and she feels she is able to inquire about me).

Finding out this information and watching my new adoptee friends meet their birth families today...brings up a lot of great conversations with my friends, their moms, my mom...which I'm sure I'll reflect on later. It is VERY interesting to have so much in depth conversations with other adoptees' moms. To get their feelings without having any relationship to them...to get very raw and honest truths that perhaps I can't get with my mom...maybe just because we don't feel like we have to protect each others' feelings because we aren't tied together in any way. And I think these moms are gaining even more understanding of how adoptees feel as well. Goes both ways.  It's ALL very amazing. And this...on day 1. This is a pretty deep post and our evening excursion was not deep so I'll make that a separate post.

Love to all!!